Parenting is the biggest blessing in life.
Yet, it is often quite challenging.
One of the most difficult things a parent has to accept is that their child is an individual on their own.
Regardless of the fact that we have created them, and devote our entire lives to them, caring for them, loving them unconditionally, and doing our best to help them whenever they need it, our kids have a life on their own and they do not owe us anything.
Yup, it might sound harsh, but it is the truth.
Of course, this does not mean that they should disrespect us, but we must be realistic when it comes to our expectations.
Our dearest ones should respect and appreciate us, but they shouldn’t wait on your hand and foot.
They do not have to do anything we ask of them.
Just because you brought your child to this world does not mean that you own him.
They are separate human beings from us and should be treated as such. They are not our property.
Your children cannot be or do everything you ask them to.
You might and should guide them in life, but they are not your servants to follow your orders or fulfill your own aspirations.
Let’s be honest, parenting is challenging on its own, and it doesn’t come with a manual, so all parents make mistakes from time to time.
Yet, remember that your role is to improve your kid’s life, and not be hard on them.
Give your children the space they need. Don’t overreact when they do something that annoys you, do not yell at them, do not ground them.
There is always a better way to change things for the better, but it almost always requires patience.
A good parent finds the perfect balance between being tough and being fun.
Do you remember how it was like when you were younger?
Keep this in mind while raising your own kids, and do not let them bottle their feelings.
Teach them to ask for what they want, and to never suppress their emotions.
Be there for them, show them that they always have you to turn to and talk when they need it.
The home should be their safe place, a place of compassion and healing.
The process of growing up is a unique experience for every single one of us.
Guide your children, but do not treat them as your possessions, as they might lash out as they get older, and fight tooth and nail to prove to you that they are their own people.
Carrie Krawiec, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic in Troy, MI, explains:
“Anything that feels owed or obligated often comes at the price tag of guilt or resentment, so families should reconsider using ‘owe’ as a method to coerce people and start to use free choice and a sense of autonomy, which yields more gratitude and pleasant feelings.”
Moroever, Anna Poss, a therapist, and owner of Anna Poss Counseling & Psychotherapy in Chicago adds:
“Sacrificing the sense of self to familial expectations is a good way to breed resentment, anger, and pain. Healthy relationships allow you room to be your authentic self. “
Your children should not be a version of yourself. They should be their own, unique persons.
Allow them to make their own choices in life, support their decisions, and be there for them, in good and bad.
You will be surprised by the things they are capable of.
We made them, we love them the most, but we should treat them as clever and beautiful human beings, separate from us, with their own rights and freedoms, and we should treat them as such.
Make sure you watch the video below for a little more insight on this: