Dating has always been challenging, as we all different and have our preferences when it comes to a relationship. Attraction is a strange concept, and it is not easy to explain why we are develop a deep affection for people.
Some people simply prefer a brainy over a sexy guy or girl. These people focus on what’s inside the package, not its attractive look, and they are known as “sapiosexuals”.
The term “Sapiosexual” has emerged as a new dating buzzword several years ago, in 1998, when a LiveJournal entry by wolfieboy wrote:
“I don’t care too much about the plumbing. I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ‘ouch’ due to their wit and evil sense of humor. I want someone that I can reach out and touch randomly. I want someone I can cuddle with.”
Since then, many have considered themselves one, and numerous celebrities and even politicians use the term to explain their attractions to other people.
There are Facebook pages and Reddit forums devoted to it, and you can add it as an official sexual orientation on dating sites. Eventually, dating app Sapio was launched, which claims to be the only dating app to “put intelligence at the forefront” of dating.
Sapiosexuals are attracted more to the mind that the physical features of people, and they are not interested in power or money. These people look for a beautiful soul, instead of a beautiful face.
According to Dr Diana Rabb:
“Those who admit to being sapiosexual will say that they are turned on by the brain, and tend to be teased or excited by the insights of another person. This means the person who you are attracted to might have a tendency to have an incisive, inquisitive, and an irreverent mind.
As foreplay, the sapiosexual person may crave philosophical, political or psychological discussions, because this turns them on … This intellectual synergy simply fires up the relationship. This is often seen in the workplace and may be viewed as another aspect of being sapiosexual—that is, a desire to be connected with intellectuals.”
If you often feel disappointed after a date with an attractive person, and you keep asking yourself about the reasons, well, you might actually need something more.
Here are 10 signs that indicate that you are a sapiosexual:
- You need to know someone well and be impressed by their intelligence before you can develop feelings. Therefore, you don’t believe in love at first sight.
- Your family and friends keep advising you not to be so picky when it comes to your partners, and settle down. They don’t understand that you need time to open your heart.
- Over time, people get more attractive to you, as you get to know them better.
- You enjoy long, deep conversations, as they inspire you. You love people you can talk to for hours. You hate small talk.
- It is completely normal to spot the physical appearance when you see a person. You need to be physically attracted to someone in order to be with them just like everybody else, but you focus on people’s intellect. You find intelligence incredibly sexy.
- You have incredibly developed listening skills. You are awfully attracted to anyone talking passionately about their wildest fantasies, dreams, interesting theories about life and its meaning, state affairs, superstitions, religion, philosophy and so on.
- Grammar matters. You just cannot imagine yourself together with a person that makes grammatical mistakes or uses slang words. You love grammatically correct texts and face-to-face conversations.
- You don’t care about the financial status of your potential partners, and a nice car or a luxurious mansion won’t charm you unless their owner has a high IQ.
- You are thirsty for knowledge, you dream of widening your horizons, to want to boost your self-growth, to learn new things, and experience new adventures and challenges.
- You are a true empath. You might learned some pretty painful life lessons so far, so you have a highly developed emotional intelligence. You love people who know how to move on and use the pain to make a positive change in life.
If you are a sapiosexual, that’s good news, as there are plenty of wonderful people out there, waiting to date you too!