You Can Now Get Yourself An Adorable Four-Foot Pen*s-Shaped Pillow To Cuddle

If you have a quirky sense of humor and love to surprise your loved ones from time to time, you have already purchased from Firebox! This online gifting website has a line of strangely adorable items!

Their team claims that a gift that revolves around pen*ses is being bought every 1 hour and 45 minutes, so it might be about time you bought your phallic-themed home décor too.

The pen*s pillows are strangely and adorably cuddly, but if you’re thinking you’ve already seen them before, you’re right. This is not exactly a new launch, as Jumbo Pierre comes after the success of Pierre’s predecessors: regular Pierre, giant Pierre, and even the world’s smallest Pierre.

Yet, as size DOES matter, Jumbo Pierre the Pen*s Body Pillow might be what you’re looking for!

According to their website:

“ You weren’t satisfied with regular Pierre. Even Giant Pierre wasn’t enough. And it’s not even worth mentioning the World’s, Smallest Pierre. You like it large, we get that. So we’ve supersized everyone’s favorite adorable pen(s just to suit you. Only he’s not so adorable anymore.

Don’t worry, he’s still got his cute little face, just on a much much bigger appendage. He must have been flaccid before because now he’s four feet of pure magnificent shaft. Quite possibly the biggest d*ck in the world, jumbo Pierre will keep you warm on long lonely nights for as long as you need him.”

What’s more, apart from being absolutely huge, this latest edition comes with a rosy-cheeked smile and can stand tall.

The description of the item on the website reads:

  • Careful! You’ll have your eye out with that!
  • Pierre is back -- and this time, he’s hard
  • Fancy a cuddle with a worryingly large pen*s?
  • It’s basically the same size as you
  • Complete with adorable face to make it more adorable and less realistic”

Needless to say, the bigger the pen*s, the higher the price tag. While the Jumbo Pierre will cost you nearly $50, if you are on a tight budget, you can start with the World’s Smallest Pierre which comes at a cheaper price of about $7.50. It may be small but it does have its advantages, making the perfect stress ball, due to its bouncing wobbliness.

It might be a gift, or you can purchase your stress-buster companion, but you should definitely get one right now!

IGV Official, Head of Buying at Firebox, Ben Redhead, stated that “Firebox has a total of six pen*s-related gifts in its Top 100 products this year.

Following on from this trend for all things phallic, we’re hoping to satisfy the customer’s appetite for Pierre once and for all with this brand new giant version!”

Yet, if you aren’t in the mood for a pen*s pillow, you can buy some of the more tame gifts offered by the retailer, like personalized pet cushions and light up unicorn slippers.