Psychologists explain why many strong women waste their time on emotionally unavailable men and here are some tips to break this pattern.
To find strength in any given moment in life, in the best and the worst, is not an easy task. Strength requires extraordinary endurance, so a strong person is flexible, adaptable, tenacious, and independent.
If you have ever met a strong woman in your life, or consider yourself one, you know perfectly what we are talking about. An impressive, unbreakable human being.
Unfortunately, these incredible women are often unhappy when it comes to love, as they are drawn to emotionally unavailable men.
Apparently, although strong women seem to have it all together from the outside, they have their own insecurities just like everyone else. They are just better at disguising them.
Psychologist Seth Meyers claims that they actually fall into a Relationship Repetition Syndrome, and they do “emotional chasing”. Namely, they chase after validation from men who will not give it to them. A strong woman will continue pursuing it from such a man, as she wants to be the one who “changed” him.
Now, let’s define emotionally unavailable men.
These guys won’t commit or settle down, and are either ones that cheat all the time, or they are already in a relationship or married. Plus, men who are interested in a woman but pretend to be with her for other reasons fall into this group as well.
In the beginning, such a man shows his interest, but after a while, they will end things with one call, or a message. These men can return from time to time, and then disappear again the next morning.
If you believe you might be an emotional chaser, here are the characteristics of these people according to Dr. Seth:
- You usually choose partners who ultimately won’t commit and settle down or who will cheat on you
- In your relationships, you are the one that is always more emotionally committed
- You tend to change yourself according to the desires of your partner
- You work hard out of the fear that your partner will leave and find someone else
- You feel like your partner has all the control and power in the relationship
- You feel like you got lucky, and as if your partner were more interesting or desirable than you are
If you realized you are one of these unfortunate women, don’t despair, as there are easy ways to break the cycle, and find true love. According to Dr. Seth, you need to do some introspection- think about the patterns you tend to follow in terms of relationships.
Think about the reasons for them:
- What is the most important trait you want to find in a man?
- What is the purpose of a relationship?
- What have you learned from your past relationships?
- What are the warning signs, in the form of traits, that indicate you should avoid a man?
At this point, you need to vent about everything that hurt you in the past, all things that left scars, everything that made you angry and disappointed. Open up and discuss this issue with your friends and family, and let them help you in the search for the one that will bring your smile back.
Spend more time with happy couples, talk to them, ask them about the things that keep them together, let them advise you and support you. Remember, bad habits are hard to break, but you are patient, hard-working, resilient, and willing to find love in life.
Therefore, go for it!