We are all different and unique in our own ways, but very often, people who are pretty independent and enjoy their time alone are seen as a bit weird.
However, it turns out that they might be pretty badass!
Numerous researchers have investigated the character traits of people who like to be around other people and those who do not throughout the years that individuals.
Many of them suggest that the preference to spent time alone does not make one weird- in fact, it might just indicate that that person just enjoys his own company, and that is a great thing!
Being alone is not a bad thing, and many experts claim that it can be very positive!
One researcher, Bella DePaulo, claims this.
Namely, she is a 60-year-old single woman, and she loves being on her own.
DePaulo explains that on the ‘desire for being alone’ scale, developed by Birk Hagemeyer, those who score higher on their desire to be alone tend to feel relaxed when alone, whereas those who score lower are uncomfortable when alone.
Even though many people tend to stereotype those who are alone as being seemingly strange or unsettling, that’s not the case for those who like to be alone.
“If our stereotypes about people who like being alone were true, then we should find that they are neurotic and closed-minded. In fact, just the opposite is true: People who like spending time alone, and who are unafraid of being single, are especially unlikely to be neurotic. They are not the tense, moody, worrying types.
People who like spending time alone, and people who are unafraid of being single, are also more likely than others to be open-minded. People who are unafraid of being single are more agreeable than people who are afraid of being single. (People who like spending time alone are no more or less agreeable than people who don’t.) And people who are unafraid of being single are also more conscientious than those who are afraid. (The results were not consistent for people who like spending time alone.)
The question I am asked most often about the personality of people who are single is whether they are more introverted. The one relevant study suggests that they probably are. But research on single people typically includes all single people, whether they want to be single or not. The studies I’m describing here tell us about people who are unafraid of being single (or who like spending time alone).
People who are unafraid of being single were more extroverted than those who are afraid of being single. Perhaps this finding is consistent with research showing that single people, on average, have more friends than married people do, and do more to maintain relationships with friends, neighbors, siblings, and parents. But again, the research on the social ties of single people includes all single people, not just those who are unafraid of being single.
People who like spending time alone were not any more or less extroverted than those who do not, but they did score as less sociable. Those two scales (extraversion and sociability) measure similar things so it is odd that they did not produce consistent findings.”
DePaulo also claims that single people or those who prefer to be alone are more helpful, caring, connected, and not selfish in any sense of the word.
Back in 2017, she even published a book going over ‘The Badass Psychology of People Who Like Being Alone’, and it helped many people to change their attitude and start feeling better for themselves.
This is a part of the preface to this book ‘Alone‘ :
“A loneliness panic has swept the nation and the world. For years, the popular press and the annals of academia have been spewing out warnings, in increasingly alarmist tones, that loneliness has reached epic proportions, and that it is killing us.
But amidst all the angst about loneliness, something profoundly important has been overlooked: Some people like being alone. They like their time alone. They like living alone.
In many nations all around the world, the number of people living alone has reached record levels. More and more people are also dining alone, traveling alone, and making their way in public places alone. Studies of married couples in the U.S. show that their lives are less enmeshed than they once were. Some couples are even living apart, in places of their own, not because far-flung jobs or other externalities have forced that upon them, but because they want their own space.
For unknown numbers of people, being alone is not just a preference – it is a craving, a need. Deprived of their time alone for too long, they begin to fantasize about it. Nothing feels quite right until their need for solitude is replenished.
Who are these people who like being alone? Stereotypically, they are the weirdos and the freaks, the scary loners planning shocking acts of violence. New thinking and fresh research upend those caricatures. We now have a better idea of the true personalities of people who like being alone, and they are, well, totally badass.”
What do you think? Do you agree? Do you prefer being on your own most of the time?
Watch the video below to hear more from DePaulo: