Are you exhausted of being disappointed over and over again? Do you feel like there is no one out there willing to love you as you deserve? Dating can be hard, especially after being in a toxic relationship that has left you emotionally drained and unable to trust and hope again.
However, you will need some time to recover and heal the old wounds, but there is no doubt that you will eventually meet your soulmate. When this comes, make sure you develop a healthy relationship this time.
To do so, you will need to work on yourself, improve, grow, develop, nourish self-love, and become someone you would like to date.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author, seminar leader and co-creator of Inner Bonding, explains:
“We attract people at our common level of woundedness or our common level of emotional health. This means that if you want to attract a healthy, loving partner, you need to become that healthy person first.”
Here are some useful tips to help you improve and attract a healthier relationship:
1. A growing amount of scientific evidence suggests that self-compassion, or the habit to be gentle towards yourself during times of failure and hardship, is an excellent foundation for a healthy partnership. You need to love and respect yourself to attract someone who will do the same.
Strengthen your self-image and self-love. Do things that make you happy, exercise and eat healthy to look good, take care of your health. Be kind to yourself and the others. The way you treat yourself is the example you set for how others will treat you.
2. Rediscover yourself. Think about what drives you in life, what causes you pain and anger, how you deal with emotions and struggles. What do you invest in a relationship, and what do you ask from one? When you have the answers, look for individuals that share similar interests and traits.
3. Don’t judge people by their appearance, but learn to look beyond the physical. Inner beauty does not fade over time. Observe the way your partner treats others. Yet, make sure you keep a check on your ego as well. Experts add that humility plays a vital role in the success of a relationship.
4. Learn from past mistakes and failed relationships. What were the positives last time? What made you unhappy? Learn from positive experiences, and mirror the good things in your new relationship. Look around, and learn from the strong and loving relationship of someone close.
5. Just because you had a bad experience doesn’t mean that you are doomed to be unhappy in love. Leave the old baggage out of the new relationship. You might have been hurt and still struggle to recover, but one of the biggest mistakes you can do is to project your insecurities and not let go of your past on time.
6. You cannot expect improvement if you make no changes. Bad boys are sexy and attractive, but only until they start treating you badly. Try to find a nice one next time instead. You deserve to be loved and appreciated. Remember, your relationship is supposed to bring support, love, care, and stability into your life.
Denise Scarbro says:
“The trick to attracting healthy relationships is to feel the love you are searching for from within yourself, to feel truly confident, and to know that you are complete. Take some time to reflect on the relationships in your life, and see what areas you might need to tend to within yourself.
Relationships in our lives act as mirrors; when we have a loving relationship with ourselves, the reflection will always be the strong, healthy, loving relationship we deserve.“