People can often be rude to each other, usually because they do not think twice before they say it. Even though we usually tend to be calm, there are people that say such things that hit below the belt and set off your temper. Rudeness is very offensive, especially if it comes from ones that you care about or your boss at work.
Everyday Health reports:
“According to the book, “Rudeness: Deal with It if you Please” by Catherine Rondina, there are a number of reasons why people behave rudely. Some of these might include the fact that they only care about what they think or need or they believe their feelings are more important than the feelings of others.
They might have little or no patience for other people and they do not appreciate the differences in others.
Some people are rude simply because they are trying to shock those around them with their behavior. By understanding the reasons behind the rudeness, you may find it easier to ignore the behavior and perhaps even feel a bit of compassion for the guilty party. Perhaps they never learned any better.”
Yet, even though it is not easy, there are ways to remain positive and polite and still deal with rude people.
Next time you encounter rudeness, consider the following comebacks:
1. I appreciate your perspective
This is a highly intelligent approach and shows that you won’t let anyone bring you down. You prefer a conversation on an adult manner, and such rude words just reveal the other person’s shaky perception of themselves.
2. This conversation is now over
If the rudeness has hurt you badly, you need to put an end to the conversation in a civil way. Don’t pretend that those comments are acceptable, as you will lose your cool and disrespect yourself. Instead, keep your dignity and avoid a heated argument.
This will embarrass the rude person, and send a message that those comments no longer affect your mood, and you even feel silly to respond to.
4. Why do you think that was necessary, and do you really expect me to answer?
When you are not alone with the rude person, this will quickly set him in check. This means that you are reasonable and calm and that you give a chance to the other to apologize to you in front of the others. If you get a positive answer to the second question, just reply with “Well, it looks like this isn’t your lucky day.”
5. You always have something negative to say, don’t you?
This focuses the attention on the other, and it will force him/her to reconsider what they say in the future. Such a toxic behavior needs to be opposed, and it is never wrong to speak your mind against it.
6. I love myself, and I love you too.
This is useful when you hear something rude from your loved ones. It quickly shuts them down, as your kindness will prevail over negativity. All the bad comments and remarks become irrelevant, and you will boost the energy in the room.
7. That almost hurt my feelings
This is a bit sarcastic, but it is a mature way to deal with the rudeness and tell the other that you would not put up with negativity, and will prevent other remarks.
8. Thank you
A simple “thank you” sends a message that the rude words do not affect you, as you are too mature to descend to such a low level, argue, and be angry. The other person will speak no more, as those words will apparently have no power over you.
9. You are right.
This will cut the conversation short, as you will admit their rightness, and leave the conversation. This tactic is not satisfying, but it will also prevent the other from getting a rise out of you.
Yet, according to Psychology Today:
“Obviously, when someone’s rudeness crosses the line and becomes bullying or harassment, you must be a proactive “whistleblower” and alert others to the details of your hostile work environment. Sometimes being ‘polite’ is not an appropriate response to disrespectful treatment.
When dealing with rude people, always stay even-keel and use common sense. Trust your gut instincts and intellect when deciding whether to let rudeness roll off your back in an attempt to create an upward spiral of more empathy and kindness by “not fighting back.”
In some instances, we all need to put our foot down and make it clear, in the spirit of ‘ferocious equanimity,’ that we won’t tolerate rude or insulting behavior anymore. “